She Who Seeks

Faith as a woman, a daughter, a student, and the lifelong journey to God

Religion and I have had an interesting journey. Born to a Christian (Anglican) mother and a Muslim father, I grew up surrounded by two traditions that, while deeply rooted in history, were never practiced strictly in my household. My parents were not as observant as others, yet faith was still present in subtle, shaping ways. In primary school, I attended Christian scripture classes, while my grandmother ensured I learned the foundations of Islam. Very early, I found myself drawn to Islam. Later, in high school, I attended a Catholic school where (thankfully) it wasn’t just biblical education that was taught, but “Studies of Religion.” This gave me the chance to explore all three Abrahamic traditions side by side.

Looking back, I see how these influences formed the foundation for how I approach faith itself, as layered, inquisitive, and interwoven. What my Catholic school impressed upon me most was that the great faiths of Abraham were more alike than different, and that dialogue across traditions wasn’t just respectful but necessary for peace within ourselves and peace among people. By the time I entered university, I carried this curiosity with me, grateful to have the opportunity to study religion in an academic setting and to appreciate it not just through practice, but through scholarship.

Being a woman learning about and living within faith has been demanding. On one side, I encountered liberal feminists insisting that religion, at its core, was designed as a system of oppression. Islam, they told me, was the sharpest weapon in this arsenal, and as a Muslim woman I must be either brainwashed or waiting to be saved. On the other side, I saw toxic male voices within online Muslim spaces who claimed authority to dictate my worth, misusing religion to enforce their control: insisting I must be covered a certain way, or entirely silenced, while blurring culture, tradition, and true faith into one suffocating rulebook.

Stuck between these two versions of myself (the woman supposedly too oppressed to think and the woman supposedly too free to be faithful) I searched for the voices in between. And slowly, I found them, the countless women within Islam, past and present, who have challenged, redefined, and embodied strength through faith. Their stories reminded me that my journey didn’t have to look like anyone else’s and that religion is not inherited through others’ opinions, but discovered through a personal seeking.

It was only when I stopped listening so closely to what people online were proclaiming whether in condemnation or judgment that my faith began to expand. Instead of trying to filter myself through their interpretations, I turned back to the teachings themselves. Reading scripture with sincerity rather than through commentary freed me to find God’s presence more clearly in my own life.

And it is there, always, everywhere. I began noticing what perhaps had always been obvious: that God is in everything. In the compassion my grandmother showed when teaching me stories. In the gentle rain after a heavy day. In the shared silence of prayer. In the sun when it beams through the clouds. Religion is not only found in a sacred text or behind stone walls of a mosque, church or temple. It is embedded in creation itself, in every unfolding moment of beauty and clarity. To me, faith is the courage to notice it, to feel life continually pointing back toward its Source.

Religion, is not a static identity stamped on us at birth, nor an external cage meant to bind. It is a journey that is sometimes quiet, sometimes restless, between worlds, cultures, and voices. For me, the deeper I move into it, the more I recognize that God is both vast and intimate, present in traditions yet not confined to them. My journey continues, shaped by the tension between criticism and devotion, doubt and faith, but always with the awareness that wherever I look if only I pause long enough, I can see Him there.

Wherever faith takes you, remember: be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself, and give yourself grace.

That’s all from this chatterbox today,

Ariana